hehe .. aww i feel bad i can't spend HALLOWEEN wit my baby .. =[[ . hes down at watts stayin home..haha .. he can't get out .. dont blame him .. haha ..
but its chill .. halloween was fun .. i went trick or treat and watched my brother & his friends .. .. his freind was dressed as SARAH PALIN haha .. it was hilarious .. everyone was givin him extra candy .. haha .. but yeah .. anyway .
things are going great with this guy .. but my husband iz getting a lil anal about it .. its so annoying ... the thing is .. everytime he has a girl .. i get angry . but to an extent .. i dont go so over board as to say oh im better than her and all dis stuff.. [just not me i guess] ..i dont know ..
he knows that i love him [my husband] so much .. but at some times he is just unbelievably insecure .. its cute . but annoying ..
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Things are Getting Better [for me]
When me and my boyfriend got together .. my husband and i made a bet .. cuz he got a girlfriend that day too .. he wanted to make a bet on whos relationship would last longer .. MINES DID ..
side note:
my husband. "going to be a NFL Player" .. we are both young (15) .. we met in Florida last year, in a pool (when we were 14) .. and i guess fell madly in love .. like we plan to get married when get older and everything .. and it seems like this is going to happen for sure .. its like one of those love stories that you read in books and see in movies .. we know that right now we aren't together because of the circumstances .. he lives in Texas and I live in California ... but we know when we are able we will be together for sure .. so right now we are dating around ..
.. his girlfriend who is a year younger than him .. thinks that he is annoying because he calls her .. which makes me mad becaue .. why the hek would she want to be in a relationship where her boyfriend doesn't talk to ehr? .. i know she is just using my husband as trophy boy .. because he is popular and all this stuff ..and i dont like it one bit ...
so .. i beat him on our bet .. hehe .. which makes me happy .. because beating your husband at anything is the best thing .. hehe ..
but i feel like my boyfriend .. is almost reaching the same level as my husband .. and i know its only been a few days that we have been together .. but ive known him for year or more now and during that whole time we had been getting to know eachother .. so i know how it feels like to be with him somewhat .. hes almost just like my husband .. he's sweet . funni . caring. loving. and he makes me feel good ..i like being with him ..im proud to be called his girlfriend .. =]] .. but is it bad to have them both at the same level .. my husband seems to think so .. but the thing is .. he isn't in the same state as me so i mean its very possible that i could find someone that is like him or could be better and it seems like my boyfriend is it ...
side note:
my husband. "going to be a NFL Player" .. we are both young (15) .. we met in Florida last year, in a pool (when we were 14) .. and i guess fell madly in love .. like we plan to get married when get older and everything .. and it seems like this is going to happen for sure .. its like one of those love stories that you read in books and see in movies .. we know that right now we aren't together because of the circumstances .. he lives in Texas and I live in California ... but we know when we are able we will be together for sure .. so right now we are dating around ..
.. his girlfriend who is a year younger than him .. thinks that he is annoying because he calls her .. which makes me mad becaue .. why the hek would she want to be in a relationship where her boyfriend doesn't talk to ehr? .. i know she is just using my husband as trophy boy .. because he is popular and all this stuff ..and i dont like it one bit ...
so .. i beat him on our bet .. hehe .. which makes me happy .. because beating your husband at anything is the best thing .. hehe ..
but i feel like my boyfriend .. is almost reaching the same level as my husband .. and i know its only been a few days that we have been together .. but ive known him for year or more now and during that whole time we had been getting to know eachother .. so i know how it feels like to be with him somewhat .. hes almost just like my husband .. he's sweet . funni . caring. loving. and he makes me feel good ..i like being with him ..im proud to be called his girlfriend .. =]] .. but is it bad to have them both at the same level .. my husband seems to think so .. but the thing is .. he isn't in the same state as me so i mean its very possible that i could find someone that is like him or could be better and it seems like my boyfriend is it ...
Sunday, October 26, 2008
ok .. i said yea ..
i said yes to him..
i guess now im taken ..
what a shocker ..
its been almost a year ..
a year of playing around with boyz.. being a tease and just making them wish they could have me .. (wow that sounded so conceited like) .. haha .. but yeah .. now i guess im taken .. thats such a big thing for me to say .. its been a while .. i dont know how to be a good girlfriend ..well anymore enyways .. and im so afraid im going to fuck up .. im afraid im going to hurt him .. and i wish so much that i wont.. because "basketball boi " (i guess i shouldchange it to my boyfriend now huh .. ) .. is a good person ..
even now im afraid to even look at his myspace page or facebook or anything of the sort .. because i know ima git jealous..and ihate that about me ..i dont want to get hurt like every other guy i been with .. they've either cheated on me . hit me . or never paid attention to me .. am i just not worth the attention? .. i dont want him to do that to me .. i dont want to get hurt ... im trying sohard not to get attached that i know that i will hurthim as well .. even though i only said yes to him yesterday .. i shouldnt be freaking out about this .. but im just that kind of person .. does that make me bad?
i guess now im taken ..
what a shocker ..
its been almost a year ..
a year of playing around with boyz.. being a tease and just making them wish they could have me .. (wow that sounded so conceited like) .. haha .. but yeah .. now i guess im taken .. thats such a big thing for me to say .. its been a while .. i dont know how to be a good girlfriend ..well anymore enyways .. and im so afraid im going to fuck up .. im afraid im going to hurt him .. and i wish so much that i wont.. because "basketball boi " (i guess i shouldchange it to my boyfriend now huh .. ) .. is a good person ..
even now im afraid to even look at his myspace page or facebook or anything of the sort .. because i know ima git jealous..and ihate that about me ..i dont want to get hurt like every other guy i been with .. they've either cheated on me . hit me . or never paid attention to me .. am i just not worth the attention? .. i dont want him to do that to me .. i dont want to get hurt ... im trying sohard not to get attached that i know that i will hurthim as well .. even though i only said yes to him yesterday .. i shouldnt be freaking out about this .. but im just that kind of person .. does that make me bad?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Halloween Horror Nights
Last night was fun ..
my throat hurts so bad from all the screaming and everything lol..
and my body is so much in pain from walking and standing for 5 or 6 hours .. plus the fact that this boy wanted so much to hike up the stairs.. it was like 4 different flights of 300 steps .. it was bad lol.. but fun ..
one of the boys came .. we'll just call him the "basketball boy" ..i knew him from playing ball last year and i guess "sparks flew" and we started talking for so long .. now i really like him .. problem is he lives in watts (my old neighborhood) .. and imoved fromthere already ... like an hour away .. its better than a couple months ago where it was 3 hours .. but still ..it would be hard to continue anything more with im because of the distance .. i dont want to be with someone who ill see every other month .. i could barely take seeing someone every other week ..
he did well hanging out with my brother and my friends .. they didn't talk very much but there wasnt a lot of tension atleast.. so thats good ... i guess ..
anyway .. the night was hella fun .. first five minutes i was already screaming .. everyone was laughing because the whole horror nights idea was MY idea .. haha .. and i was the one who ended up screaming so much .. oh gosh .. lol.. im weird .. and in the middle of it everyone was so tired (including me) . but we ended up getting jello shot things and i got so hyper .. and started dancing to this mexican music .. and when it stopped i started singing "la cucaracha" to everyone lol.. yeah .. i dont know what the heck was going on with me .. im obviously in need of psychiatry ...
my throat hurts so bad from all the screaming and everything lol..
and my body is so much in pain from walking and standing for 5 or 6 hours .. plus the fact that this boy wanted so much to hike up the stairs.. it was like 4 different flights of 300 steps .. it was bad lol.. but fun ..
one of the boys came .. we'll just call him the "basketball boy" ..i knew him from playing ball last year and i guess "sparks flew" and we started talking for so long .. now i really like him .. problem is he lives in watts (my old neighborhood) .. and imoved fromthere already ... like an hour away .. its better than a couple months ago where it was 3 hours .. but still ..it would be hard to continue anything more with im because of the distance .. i dont want to be with someone who ill see every other month .. i could barely take seeing someone every other week ..
he did well hanging out with my brother and my friends .. they didn't talk very much but there wasnt a lot of tension atleast.. so thats good ... i guess ..
anyway .. the night was hella fun .. first five minutes i was already screaming .. everyone was laughing because the whole horror nights idea was MY idea .. haha .. and i was the one who ended up screaming so much .. oh gosh .. lol.. im weird .. and in the middle of it everyone was so tired (including me) . but we ended up getting jello shot things and i got so hyper .. and started dancing to this mexican music .. and when it stopped i started singing "la cucaracha" to everyone lol.. yeah .. i dont know what the heck was going on with me .. im obviously in need of psychiatry ...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
ok .. is it bad to search?
im like talkin to 5 guys right now ..so hard to keep track ... and its not that i wanna play all of them ..its that i just want to find the right one ... its so hard to do that right now because of all the things and all the players around now .. and i just dont want to get hurt like before .. all of them are all equal in amazingness.. its just the fact that they are all i dont know .. different and yet the same .. but i want them and sometimes i dont .. and i want them all ..but not at all .. its so hard .. how do i choose ? and how do i make the right choice?
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